Claire's Story...
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You only really start to think properly about parenting choices when you become a parent yourself. Having studied Attachment Theory through counselling as an adult I'd already gained an insight into the subject, and was fascinated by it, but had never really thought about how much of an impact so many areas of seemingly loving parenting approaches could have on tiny babies and children.
When my son was born we were overjoyed, and as an affectionate family were always going to be very attentive and committed to ensuring that he grows up with positive self esteem and a sense of love and self belief – that remains incredibly important to me.
As he slept in our room in his cot for the first six months I only discovered the concept of cosleeping via the practical choice to take him into bed with me when at 4mths he started waking every 2hrs to feed. Tiredness won! So we'd spend the first part of the night in beds next to each other, and the next together.
After six months we tried transitioning him to his room - sometimes he slept ok in his cot, but still woke around 3am so came back in with me. At Christmas he decided he didn't want to sleep in his travel cot nor his cot, so pretty much came in with us from then.
We did first off gently try encouraging him to sleep - 'baby trainer' recommendations of gently shushing with a hand on his tummy, moving slowly out the room. But mostly he didn't want to be there - the health visitor told me it was behavioural and to try the 'cry it out' method. We tried it for a couple of minutes - I was in agony, everything in me screamed it was wrong for my baby to be so distressed. I decided from that moment on I knew better than the health visitor. I researched online books for sleeping without crying it out and came across Elizabeth Pantley - which via Amazon led me to the Sears book on Attachment Parenting. Having studied attachment theories before, I jumped to order it.
And so started my attachment parenting journey... The relief I felt by reading that book was immense - I WAS RIGHT! I wasn't alone, my instincts were God given, natural and how it should be. From that point on I read more into AP, and formed an online Facebook group for my area to support other Mums. I'd already been breastfeeding and babywearing and cosleeping - there were several local breastfeeding support groups nearby, but no one had heard about AP before, although several of the mums were using that parenting approach naturally, without knowing it had a name.
A midwife friend who supports AP recommended the book "What every parent needs to know" which was immense reading - and so revealing to see the scientific reasons and literal affects AP (and lack of it) can have on brain development.
By starting my group online I discovered an old friend had gone through a similar journey to me, and was a bit further ahead as her kids were that much older now. She (along with the other AP groups on Facebook and in Devon and all the way over in New Zealand) has provided valuable support, advice and encouragement to me.
I want to shout about AP from the roof tops, and in my own small way hope to continue to educate and encourage others about these valuable tools. And my son? Well, we don't meet another person who doesn't comment on what a happy, sociable, loving, contented and balanced little boy he is. Obviously to us he is very special and probably would be anyway - but I am positive that AP has had a lot to do with it.
You only really start to think properly about parenting choices when you become a parent yourself. Having studied Attachment Theory through counselling as an adult I'd already gained an insight into the subject, and was fascinated by it, but had never really thought about how much of an impact so many areas of seemingly loving parenting approaches could have on tiny babies and children.
When my son was born we were overjoyed, and as an affectionate family were always going to be very attentive and committed to ensuring that he grows up with positive self esteem and a sense of love and self belief – that remains incredibly important to me.
As he slept in our room in his cot for the first six months I only discovered the concept of cosleeping via the practical choice to take him into bed with me when at 4mths he started waking every 2hrs to feed. Tiredness won! So we'd spend the first part of the night in beds next to each other, and the next together.
After six months we tried transitioning him to his room - sometimes he slept ok in his cot, but still woke around 3am so came back in with me. At Christmas he decided he didn't want to sleep in his travel cot nor his cot, so pretty much came in with us from then.
We did first off gently try encouraging him to sleep - 'baby trainer' recommendations of gently shushing with a hand on his tummy, moving slowly out the room. But mostly he didn't want to be there - the health visitor told me it was behavioural and to try the 'cry it out' method. We tried it for a couple of minutes - I was in agony, everything in me screamed it was wrong for my baby to be so distressed. I decided from that moment on I knew better than the health visitor. I researched online books for sleeping without crying it out and came across Elizabeth Pantley - which via Amazon led me to the Sears book on Attachment Parenting. Having studied attachment theories before, I jumped to order it.
And so started my attachment parenting journey... The relief I felt by reading that book was immense - I WAS RIGHT! I wasn't alone, my instincts were God given, natural and how it should be. From that point on I read more into AP, and formed an online Facebook group for my area to support other Mums. I'd already been breastfeeding and babywearing and cosleeping - there were several local breastfeeding support groups nearby, but no one had heard about AP before, although several of the mums were using that parenting approach naturally, without knowing it had a name.
A midwife friend who supports AP recommended the book "What every parent needs to know" which was immense reading - and so revealing to see the scientific reasons and literal affects AP (and lack of it) can have on brain development.
By starting my group online I discovered an old friend had gone through a similar journey to me, and was a bit further ahead as her kids were that much older now. She (along with the other AP groups on Facebook and in Devon and all the way over in New Zealand) has provided valuable support, advice and encouragement to me.
I want to shout about AP from the roof tops, and in my own small way hope to continue to educate and encourage others about these valuable tools. And my son? Well, we don't meet another person who doesn't comment on what a happy, sociable, loving, contented and balanced little boy he is. Obviously to us he is very special and probably would be anyway - but I am positive that AP has had a lot to do with it.